@twl I don’t know what to do I wanna die so fucking bad but I don’t WANT to want to die! I started doing hard drugs as a way to try and cope but shits killing me and because I already had several health problems, I’m fucking dying and in so much pain and discomfort from only 8 weeks in relapse of heavy drug use. I wish I wasn’t in pain and I wish my body wasn’t being destroyed like this and I can’t even stop cause I feel like I have to do it. Last Sunday I attempted suicide after being forced to get clean cause I ran out and couldn’t get anything else. I had nothing to grasp onto and I survived and hospital discharged me and wouldn’t help me and said I’m no longer a danger but I’m fucking dying and still want to die. I have a lot of symptoms showing up that indicate gastro, kidney and heart problems and tests and shit keep coming back fine but I’m not fucking fine. Having constant extreme muscle aches, constant stomach pain and headaches and urine that’s cloudy and dark isn’t normal. I hope I have a fucking heart attack soon and die from these damn hard drugs I’m using to kill myself and survive at the same time. Shit doesn’t make sense. But yeah I wanna die but wish I didn’t have that wish..