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@puniko@mk.absturztau.be this is the stuff in default.yml
it is actually a codebase change, but that's how it's visible to you
the tl;dr is it decouples responding to web requests (what is visible as responsiveness to the user) from queue handling (how fast federation goes)
it should fix your primary performance issue from queue stuff (for your instance size I'd have 4 web workers, 6 queue workers, and a highly tweaked postgres)
P.S. it's not merged yet, but you were talking about merging it manually - I just have it as a .patch in my patches dir for now

also note that it doesn't do anything for the chart stuff, but my computer use is slowly starting to increase again, so I might be able to look into it soon ^^;;
but first I have a lot of emails to write and amazon to contact