@sarahjamielewis "by extenson users on your instance"
Nope. Nope nope nope.
Unless users on your instance agree to this (i.e. unless you're a malicious admin and try to make them agree), they are not party to this bs and don't have to care about it one bit.
On your second point, yes you're in violation of the flagship's data-grab ToS by refusing to make your users agree to it. Nobody gives a fuck. Make them defederate us all if they deem us in violation of ToS. They'll cave.