I basically want one website where I can put in "green summer shorts size 16" and get "Here are three pairs from eBay, here's one on Vinted and here's one on Preloved, there's a local artist who sews them out of handspun hemp, seaweed and celery strings, if you already have a pair that's torn here's a video on how to mend them and by the way one of your neigbours has grown too much basil and put it on Freecycle, do you want some?"