I assume that the geniuses telling me that I don't have any right to criticize Amazon's Alexa because cell phones also have microphones in them are unfamiliar with the decade I have spent fighting surveillance malware and stalkerware. Really, I have thought about this. I have thought about this A WHOLE LOT. And if my being salty about Alexa offends your delicate sensibilities, wait until you hear about the whole rest of my career.