Conversation

I (M55) have a complicated relationship with my younger (45) brother. Some of it is sibling rivalry - it’s tough to beat out the younger brother as Mom’s favorite. Even though I graduated from high school at 16, went to UofChicago Law School, and was the primary force for building one of the largest and most successful firms in my state, my younger brother “Lenny” was always her favorite. It was even he who she asked for on her death bed. Despite him embezzling money from our dad’s business - enough over the years to cause him to lose the business, declare bankruptcy, and die 6 months later.

Anyway, Lenny spent his young adulthood, and even well into middle age as a scam artist. Nothing with Nigerian princes, but stuff Like selling fake coins or faking injuries (we called him Lying Lenny). Small time but it kept him in a bit of trouble with the law. Eventually he pulled a stunt that would have resulted in jail time and life altering ramifications. I got on a plane, for Mom, and got him out of it. I then persuaded him to take a low level job in my firm working the mailroom to keep him out of trouble. And I have to say, he’s an extremely likeable guy, and whatever his faults, he’s hard worker.

Well Lenny did well in the mailroom. And he also, unbeknownst to me, took correspondence courses for law school from some school I never heard of. I had to look it up and see that it actually WAS a accredited. He then successfully passed the bar (again, he’s smart and he works hard). He thought the firm would bring him in, but I stopped the firm from doing so. I just knew his essential nature and had a hard time believing that he could actually change - especially in his mid 40s. And with as competitive as the law field is, I believe it would be irresponsible for me to expose my partners to someone who I believe could sink the carefully built reputation acquired over the past 20+ years.

He’s been making due as a sole practitioner. Scrounging up clients as a Public defender for $700 a pop. I hear rumors that he does stuff like bribe the clerk for favorable court dates. But since he’s not with my firm I really don’t pay close attention.

Now, here is where i probably was an AH, but i want to include this context for transparency. I didn’t actually tell Lenny I wouldn’t let him be a lawyer at my firm. I just didn’t want the drama so I had my partner and protege do it. He’s been bearing the brunt of Lenny’s anger since then. But that immaturity on Lenny’s part hasn’t done much to convince me I was wrong about him.

I do want to make clear that I don’t “hate” Lenny as some people think i do. I simply see him For what he is. He’s smart and hard working. He has a giant heart. I’ve been going thru some illness and he’s been indispensable for me. But he will do the worst things for the best reasons and I just can’t trust him with the reputation of my firm. But, while I don’t hate him (despite what he put out our parents thru), I must confess he has just never meant that much to me.

So AITA for not letting my firm hire him?

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