back in middle school it was hard to talk to people because everyone bullied or otherwise hated me irl, and most people online didn't want to talk to me, because they thought i was going to shoot up my school and didn't want to be associated. also my bpd was completely untreated and my mood swings were intense and obnoxious. if i got bullied just a little bit more i probably would've done it. as in like, one more instance of ptsd, sexual assault, violence, or otherwise. though really they did so much to me that year that i was having trouble telling which traumatic things they did were real and which were imagined. also pretty psychotic and trembling in fear for the entire school day. at least i was still young and effeminate so the 4/8channers i would sext online when i got home were nice to me, they liked my nudes and stuff, especially when i was anamaxxing (gaining a "healthy" weight loses u a lot of attention)