@anywho I've been using Matrix for 5-10 years and it has gotten better, but it's not terribly well documented beyond the basic setup. The problem is once you get to a certain point (I want to say 250-500 users) it collapses in on itself While it's designed to scale you can't actually scale it without documentation and you have to set everything up with that scaling in mind from day 0. Ultimately it may be what we should be using as it does put us more in control than other platforms that we have a chance in hell at getting people to use.
IRC is fine for technical users, but anyone else it's never going to work for.
Even getting people to use Matrix is like banging your head against a wall.
I say this as probably one of the few people who've helped run and promote a Matrix server for close to a decade. I've seen the issues, I've looked at what it takes to set one up, and then recognized the weak spots.
There is a lot to dislike about Matrix, but there are other issues with Telegram and Signal and IRC and WhatsApp.
As much as people complain about meta data with Matrix Telegram and Signal require a phone number which is the ultimate in hilarity. It's like asking for ID before you let someone enter. It's far worse than whatever meta data issues exist with Matrix. Telegram does use end-to-end encryption that is custom and not optimal, and is limited to secret chats too, but not even my main concern.
Signal depends on components that can't be trusted. There is not a full set of source code. It also is centralized like Telegram (network side). We can't even begin to have a serious conversation about security with it, even if the math is solid.
WhatApps is proprietary. So no go there. Discord is similar.
Matrix is hard to admin, but works.