:neuro: Pixy's Journey :nonbinary_heart:#Journal of an anxious and stressed Dutch AuDHD Pixy :pixy_party: (Tuesday, 04/08/2026).
It was a bit of a mixed night, due to potty breaks, bad backs, and buzzing terrorists. But in the end, I got up earlier than I had hoped for, as today was going to be a long day. I got up, got dressed, took my meds, and fed Koa. There was an email from the pharmacy now, so all the dreadful calls had paid of, at least... When Koa was done with his meal, we got ready, and we went to Skoosh, to go and pick up my meds.
The drive went well, and before we knew it, we were back home, and I was able to take my better meds again. I got to the couch, grabbed my laptop, and started emailing my sweet friend. When I was done, I fixed some brekkie. I walked with Koa, wrote my journal toot, and then I relaxed a bit, as much as I could. I had to check the time, due to my last meal before the surgery and all.
I fixed food for Koa and myself, we went on a little walk, and then I tried to distract myself. I fiddled around with the YouCut app, trying to make a little video. It wasn’t the best editing, as it was hard to keep my concentration. Anxiety was slowly but surely setting in more. I knew this surgeon was a good one, as he was the one that tried to repair my left thumb, after the “butcher” from the awful hospital had messed it up so badly. 😢 But still, there are always risks and one bad left thumb was enough, I kinda need the right one to keep working as best as possible.
I prepared everything for the hospital and for Koa, so he would have food, snacks, toys, and all while being at my parents’ place. When mum texted that she was coming to pick us up, I took out Koa for a little walk. Then, I got all the bags, and Koa and I waited next to the parking, so mum could put in Koa and the bags, and we’d be on our way.
I had to wait a while in Nijmegen, until mum could take me to the hospital. We found a quick spot, and checked in. After almost an hour in the waiting area, they called me in. Well, they called in my surname with “mister” in front of it... I would not mind getting rid of the female issues, especially now that the peri-symptoms have set in. But nope, not a mister... But, it was meant for me, and the lady apologized, and we had a little laugh about it. Everything got checked, and mum got all the info, and then we said goodbye, as I went to the preparation area, and mum went back home.
All my things went into the box, the lady helped me to close the gown, and she sealed the box containing my things. I got into the bed, and when all was set, she wheeled me to the next area. There, they were going to give me the heart monitor patches, and my IV. I warned the lady that setting IV’s was something my body was never cooperative with. But, she found a good spot, and it would be done easily. Well, nope... As said, not working, loads of pain, more needles, and in the end, I got my IV in my elbow (which also hurt like hell).
I got to the OR, and they kept asking me if I was sure about not wanting a nerve-blocker in my arm. I had one of those with my first hand surgery... It took me, and the physio, about 6 months to have my hand/arm recover from that. So yeah, I was sure to have some more pain for a few more days, instead of dealing with an even longer aftermath from the nerve-block. Then, I got the mask on, and after a few breaths, I was out...
When I came around again, the first thing I noticed was a very annoying pain. They gave me some extra meds, and I got a water ice cream. Yay, that felt good. When the meds were doing their thing, I was brought to a little room, where I got some food. They had called my mum so she should be on her way as well. They helped me in my own clothes. When mum arrived, she helped me with my shoes, and we got back to the car.
Unfortunately, mum had another appointment for herself, so I had to stay at their home for a while. All I really had wanted was to go home and rest a while... When we finally got home, I saw I had 4 missed calls (the phone was on quiet mode), and some voicemails. They were from the hospital. I tried to listen to a voicemail, but that woman had the most annoying voice, and the way she spoke to me, it triggered me in all the wrong places... She was so annoyed with me for not picking up my phone, as she called several times. Yeah, and I just had surgery with anesthesia, I was tired and in pain, and having a phone doesn’t mean I need to answer it at all times.
Things got triggered even more when she had taken the chance to already book me for my therapy appointments. At the day and time when I have my normal physio, which I really need now, after three weeks without… And yeah, I should call her on Thursday, as Wednesday was her day off. I just wanted to relax, wait for the painkillers to kick in, and try to get some sleep..... Instead of that, I was answering an email (as I also got an email about the appointments that she felt free to book because yeah, I didn’t answer). It was a cranky email, but I tried to stay as polite as I could, while being exhausted and in pain, and tired of the sh*t that medical folks seem to throw at you, just because they can. I wonder if anyone will see the email, and if they will respond. But I really don’t understand the urgency of that damned lady, and why she could not have waited till Thursday to call me, and try to schedule something that I could make work. It’s not life-threatening, and for heck’s sake, give people some time to recover from am surgery (and to get settled at home safe and sound). Ugh, yeah, my autism was banging my head against a big wall, about the way people deal with things these days...
After that, we could finally head to bed. It was late, well, for me at least. Both Koa and I were exhausted when we got back home. I fell asleep OK enough, and then a buzzing terrorist woke me up, as he zapped himself in the swatter (I had it on with the UV function). I went to the loo, asked Koa, who was not interested, and got back to bed. I woke up again when another terrorist 🦟 started haunting me. With some great efforts, I managed to get some deet on my neck, face, and hand. Shortly after that, the terrorist zapped himself, and that seemed to make an end to all the buzzing. I had let Koa out, but he wasn't too interested in doing things. He even went back to the crate on his own... I gave him some snacks, and he snoozed before I was able to make myself comfortable again. When I woke up again, the time startled me a bit. But even Koa was still snoozing, while I guess he must have been hungry. I know I was...
So, around 2, we got up, and I slowly started my “day”, trying to find the best ways to get dressed, take meds, feed Koa... It was going to be a challenging day for sure...
Thanks to all for your kindness and support during my "journey through daily life" :bear_love: I really appreciate it :bear_hugs: as it helps me to keep going on bad/harder days! :bear_nuzzle:
:pixy_party: 💜 🍀 🐾
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