I'm telling a lot of lies here lately. Here's another one:
Trump goes to China but in his addled, confused state forgets where he is and decides he's on a trip to Venezuela. Since his knowledge of foreign languages is less than zero and all foreigners are bad--and look the same-- nothing cues him to the error and he proceeds to invite China to be our 51st state. Once the error is translated, the Chinese leaders exhibit admirable self-control, thank him graciously, decline the invitation (after some hasty whispered conversations--1.5 billion voters?? Could they simply take over the USA in one fell swoop?) and distract Trump with some gold-plated plastic toys.
Then back to the negotiating table so Trump can nap (I mean blink for 45 minutes) while Chinese experts with IQs in the 140+ range dicker with Americans who are dumber than sticks. It goes as well as you imagine.
Home again, home again, lickety split. Edward Gibbon, spinning in his grave, starts to pen The History of the Decline and Fall of the American Empire. "Let me rest," he grumbles. "I already wrote this story."
And we get to live it out. 😩