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   Adrianna Tan (skinnylatte@hachyderm.io)'s status on Wednesday, 25-Feb-2026 03:17:00 JST Adrianna Tan

   I also had parents who told me I deserve to have as many darts as I want, which is also exceptionally rare for an autistic and female presenting person in my society.

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     Adrianna Tan (skinnylatte@hachyderm.io)'s status on Wednesday, 25-Feb-2026 03:47:09 JST Adrianna Tan

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     Also I grew up Chinese in a society where they basically makes me white. In many ways. It would be very different somewhere else. I had no qualms asking people for money at any point in my life including when I was young and relatively inexperienced.

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     Adrianna Tan (skinnylatte@hachyderm.io)'s status on Wednesday, 25-Feb-2026 04:18:01 JST Adrianna Tan

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     Many in Asian societies are part of the 'sandwich generation' where they have to provide for their children AND their parents / uncles / aunts.

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     Adrianna Tan (skinnylatte@hachyderm.io)'s status on Wednesday, 25-Feb-2026 04:47:14 JST Adrianna Tan

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     • Daniel Reeders

     @onekind oh not a specifically white person thing, more of a 'it's not out of the ordinary for someone like me to ask for money if i want to no matter what i feel about it'

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     Daniel Reeders (onekind@beige.party)'s status on Wednesday, 25-Feb-2026 04:47:15 JST Daniel Reeders

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     @skinnylatte Oh, super intrigued to hear you say that confidence in asking for money is a white people thing. Made me reflect on my upbringing which was 'aspiring middle class' i.e. educated but very poor. We didn't talk about money at all, and when I started to specialise in program design and funding applications I had to work through A LOT of yucky feelings about asking for money. I was 'working the fairground' to use your striking metaphor.

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     Adrianna Tan (skinnylatte@hachyderm.io)'s status on Wednesday, 25-Feb-2026 04:57:02 JST Adrianna Tan

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     • Daniel Reeders

     @onekind that and people not questioning your competence because you are not a racial minority

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     Daniel Reeders (onekind@beige.party)'s status on Wednesday, 25-Feb-2026 04:57:04 JST Daniel Reeders

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     @skinnylatte Ohh got it! So a level of familiarity with capital flows and mechanisms?

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     Adrianna Tan (skinnylatte@hachyderm.io)'s status on Wednesday, 25-Feb-2026 05:07:46 JST Adrianna Tan

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     • Daniel Reeders

     @onekind yeah, I’m certain there are varying levels of whiteness, and also poor white people’s experiences are different.

     But it is also hard for someone not Chinese in Singapore or any kind of white most other places to get a certain sort of competence ascribed to them by default

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     Daniel Reeders (onekind@beige.party)'s status on Wednesday, 25-Feb-2026 05:07:47 JST Daniel Reeders

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     @skinnylatte Yep, got it. Without disagreeing with your overall take, I note that as recently as my mother's early career, her Irish Catholicism was seen as a marker of being not quite white. 'Micks' couldn't get jobs at the tax office, for example, because of the stereotype they are not good with money. I actually suspect it was racism towards non-white skilled migrants that finally consolidated the Micks and the Prods into one single 'white' category in the eyes of the employment market.