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Paul Cantrell (inthehands@hachyderm.io)'s status on Wednesday, 14-Jan-2026 11:09:29 JST Paul Cantrell

Because we all need a good cathartic pain-laugh, I want to make sure you have read this literary masterpiece of an article.
https://theonion.com/ice-confirms-agents-do-not-have-faces-beneath-masks/

In conversation about 3 months ago from hachyderm.io permalink
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  Paul Cantrell (inthehands@hachyderm.io)'s status on Wednesday, 14-Jan-2026 11:22:21 JST Paul Cantrell
  in reply to
  
  The Onion has really been knocking it out of the park with their ICE articles.
  https://theonion.com/ice-agent-decides-he-wants-kids-after-seeing-incredible-1826461558/
  
  In conversation about 3 months ago permalink
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  Paul Cantrell (inthehands@hachyderm.io)'s status on Wednesday, 14-Jan-2026 11:23:08 JST Paul Cantrell
  in reply to
  
  I mean…
  https://theonion.com/ice-protests-brutal-conditions-of-being-forced-to-stand-1836415853/
  
  In conversation about 3 months ago permalink
  
  Peter Krefting repeated this.
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  Paul Cantrell (inthehands@hachyderm.io)'s status on Wednesday, 14-Jan-2026 11:23:27 JST Paul Cantrell
  in reply to
  
  MYTH: ICE agents lack proper training.
  FACT: Most have been racists their entire lives.
  https://theonion.com/ice-raids-myth-vs-fact/
  
  In conversation about 3 months ago permalink
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  Paul Cantrell (inthehands@hachyderm.io)'s status on Wednesday, 14-Jan-2026 11:25:19 JST Paul Cantrell
  in reply to
  
  It just goes on
  https://theonion.com/how-to-join-ice/
  
  In conversation about 3 months ago permalink
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  Paul Cantrell (inthehands@hachyderm.io)'s status on Wednesday, 14-Jan-2026 11:37:25 JST Paul Cantrell
  in reply to
  - Cory Dransfeldt :demi:
  @cory
  See! It’s true!
  
  In conversation about 3 months ago permalink
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  Cory Dransfeldt :demi: (cory@follow.coryd.dev)'s status on Wednesday, 14-Jan-2026 11:37:27 JST Cory Dransfeldt :demi:
  in reply to
  
  @inthehands welp https://theonion.com/ice-boasts-zero-murders-committed-by-5-year-olds-since-child-detainments-began/
  In conversation about 3 months ago permalink
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  1. Domain not in remote thumbnail source whitelist: theonion.com
    
    ICE Boasts Zero Murders Committed By 5-Year-Olds Since Child Detainments Began
    
    from The Onion Staff
    
    WASHINGTON—Touting a new crime report as evidence their ramped-up operations were improving American life, Immigration and Customs Enforcement officials announced Friday that there had been zero murders committed by 5-year-olds since they began detaining children. “Democrats can whine and slander our agents all they like, but the stats don’t lie: Homicides committed by kindergartners are […]
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  Paul Cantrell (inthehands@hachyderm.io)'s status on Wednesday, 14-Jan-2026 11:49:50 JST Paul Cantrell
  in reply to
  - Cory Dransfeldt :demi:
  @cory
  That’s where we all are, join the party
  
  In conversation about 3 months ago permalink
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  Cory Dransfeldt :demi: (cory@follow.coryd.dev)'s status on Wednesday, 14-Jan-2026 11:49:51 JST Cory Dransfeldt :demi:
  in reply to
  
  @inthehands I’ll be over here sobbing in the corner
  
  In conversation about 3 months ago permalink
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  Paul Cantrell (inthehands@hachyderm.io)'s status on Wednesday, 14-Jan-2026 11:51:59 JST Paul Cantrell
  in reply to
  
  The very top of the thread is still my favorite one.
  
  In conversation about 3 months ago permalink

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