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   Matt Blaze (mattblaze@federate.social)'s status on Saturday, 20-Dec-2025 11:01:37 JST Matt Blaze

   We don't yet know much about what was going on with Claudio Neves Valente, the Brown and MIT gunman, and we may well never. But this tragic case reminds me how the pressures of academic life, often starting in grad school, can sometimes push people past a breaking point.

   We don't always do a great job of taking care of our colleagues, or of recognizing when they need our help and understanding.

   • Rich Felker repeated this.
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     Xenotar (xenotar@mastodon.social)'s status on Saturday, 20-Dec-2025 11:01:35 JST Xenotar

     in reply to

     @mattblaze I completely agree, and this case reminded me of a problematic former student who I hope doesn't follow that path.

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     Steve Bellovin (stevebellovin@infosec.exchange)'s status on Saturday, 20-Dec-2025 11:18:23 JST Steve Bellovin

     in reply to

     @mattblaze And take care of your students, both your advisees and classroom students. I've heard some truly horrific stories to accompany requests for short extensions on something. My response is always the same: take care of yourself, don't worry about the deadline, I'll do everything I can to support you if you have to appeal to the dean's office for an exception, and TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF—that's far more important than an arbitrary academic deadline. On more than one occasion, a student has asked for a one week extension due to a family tragedy that I knew was going to require them to get an Incomplete while they processed what happened and grieved—and I made sure that the dean's office knew how strongly I supported the request. People are important. Family is important. Close friends are important. Academic work? Much less so—and apart from anything else, you can't possibly do good academic work when your head and your heart are elsewhere.
     I can't make their pain go away. I can make sure I don't add to it.

     Rich Felker repeated this.
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     Paul_IPv6 (paul_ipv6@infosec.exchange)'s status on Saturday, 20-Dec-2025 11:18:56 JST Paul_IPv6

     in reply to

     • Steve Bellovin

     @SteveBellovin @mattblaze

     my dad was a PhD, then professor. one of the life lessons he also shared with me, one time when i was burned out, was "you must survive". it's good to have goals, work hard, accomplish things, have career success, but the bottom line is, "you must survive". it's certainly informed my mentoring over the years, as well as kept me from ever burning out that badly again.