Conversation

The main lesson learnt from my cataract operations and receiving new glasses: Don't use your eyes. Rely on smell, touch, hearing, on sensing warmth, cold, energy and its densities. But don't use the eyes. Don't trust them. What their artificiality shows you only leads to despair.

And this is a major shift in my life, already at a late stage, already in its autumn. I have always been a visually oriented person, I think in images, remember in mimages, look, watch, and of course: read. That all is going to be gone.

It's too strenuous to use my eyes and tackle with the impressions they provide. My eyes physically hurt when I watch a scenery. So, in this later stage of life, I need to turn away from seeing and turn to my other senses.

And that means far less time at the screen, far less time with books and papers, and far more time with radio, sound, smell, touch. I have no idea what that will turn me into. But I sure no longer want to see. I'm so done with vision.

And that means that, in this later stage of life, I'll have to tackle another issue: Always weak on memory (but quick in intelligence and creativity), I now have to turn to memorize, to keep in mind, to train my ability to memorize and remember. Not exactly Ad Herenium-style though.

And that is the rather interesting outcome of these butchered operations and these efforts that, to save my vision, took it from me.

Which, in another sense, is kind of funny. I always feared to become blind (beside my other two favourite ailments). And now I seem to have become more or less blind -- although I can still see. Never thought about that possibility. But I got what I feared. So, be grateful.

#talkingtomyselflettingyoulisten

Public

Notices

Feeds