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   myrmepropagandist (futurebird@sauropods.win)'s status on Tuesday, 15-Jul-2025 00:33:00 JST myrmepropagandist

   I really wish someone had told me that sometimes people are non-binary when I was growing up.

   I'm not non-binary myself, but it would have made a big difference.

   I'm biased but I suspect this isn't uncommon. There are so many stories where the theme of "be a man" or "be a real woman" is central. And so many people I know have told me the most painful parts of growing up related to having their ability to correctly do gender questioned or belittled. Why.

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     myrmepropagandist (futurebird@sauropods.win)'s status on Tuesday, 15-Jul-2025 02:05:25 JST myrmepropagandist

     in reply to

     We sometimes say "Someone being gay or trans doesn't effect your life at all." Things along those lines.

     Thing is, this isn't totally true. There *is* an impact.

     A good impact. A healthy one. Trying to enforce ideas of gender and sexuality that don't align with the complex way that we really *are* has an impact on everyone.

     If being non-binary is "wrong" then not being a perfect match for your gender is wrong.

     Maybe some people are scared of who they would be without the fear.

     GreenSkyOverMe (Monika) repeated this.
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     myrmepropagandist (futurebird@sauropods.win)'s status on Tuesday, 15-Jul-2025 02:05:26 JST myrmepropagandist

     in reply to

     It's a little frustrating to recognize how much time I wasted worrying about things that didn't matter. Worrying that there was something wrong with me that meant I'd never fit in. Judging others and enforcing the same petty worries on them.

     But these fears are ugly little pets we do not need to care for and feed forever. Let it go!

     GreenSkyOverMe (Monika) repeated this.
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     myrmepropagandist (futurebird@sauropods.win)'s status on Tuesday, 15-Jul-2025 02:05:27 JST myrmepropagandist

     in reply to

     I was shocked when I found out how much hate non-binary people can face. Because, it seems like such a non-threatening thing. But, I think it's exactly that clarity a sense of normalcy that terrifies some people. Who would I be if I wasn't the girl who is terrified that people will think she's "too muscular?" Who would I be without that shame and pain?

     Who would my brother be if not terrified that playing chess made him seem "gay" (which means not like a guy)

     (spoiler: a happier people)

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     myrmepropagandist (futurebird@sauropods.win)'s status on Tuesday, 15-Jul-2025 02:05:28 JST myrmepropagandist

     in reply to

     I knew non-binary people growing up but no-one had a word for it. We would say "They're like David Bowie." But, we didn't know if that meant you were Homosexual(oh no) or what. I was able to read and learn more in my teens, but simply knowing that gender isn't binary would have been very helpful and saved a lot of time and angst.

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     aprilfollies (aprilfollies@mastodon.online)'s status on Tuesday, 15-Jul-2025 02:27:21 JST aprilfollies

     in reply to

     @futurebird I was lucky to hear, “gender is a social construct” from my parents - even though that may have been, uh, more theory than practice. Mostly it meant that “yes, girls can wear jeans, do math, take shop instead of home ec.,” and so on. But since every book I read had a male protagonist, I would go around playing at being Robin Hood or King Arthur. I wish I had had the concept of “gender fluid”, though I still identify as female. I wasn’t being “wrong”, just… flexible.

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     Ruth [☕️ 👩🏻‍💻📚✍🏻🧵🪡🍵] (platypus@glammr.us)'s status on Tuesday, 15-Jul-2025 02:28:10 JST Ruth [☕️ 👩🏻‍💻📚✍🏻🧵🪡🍵]

     in reply to

     @futurebird I'm grateful for having a bunch of trans/nonbinary friends. Even though it's also made me realize I'm extremely cis. I experience gender euphoria in the body I'm in and I want that for everyone.