i remember in the Bush II years how the omnipresent background of war, lies, and surveillance changed the color of our ordinary living, not for everyone, but for those who noticed and cared about what was happening. 2025 is like 2003 times 1000. reality is a heavy weight to carry for those of us who are not pretending it's all fine. so often i don't feel like i'm carrying the weight of crises, but of their popular denial