"But before you form another thought, you’re going to want to keep reading this five-hundred-word bumper sticker on my Tesla so you can fully understand why I am not a bad person.
First, you must know that I got this car before Elon went evil billionaire. I recognize that its being a 2023 Tesla Model S does complicate that message, but you must also know that the only thing I hate more than what he’s doing to the American people is me being perceived as the bad guy."