Conversation

i think that usually, blocking and then posting about it means that the block was intended as a form of public moral judgement. i do those too sometimes when reply-guy randoms show up from nowhere and dump huge loads of anger in my mentions. it's a decent way of processing it (and i usually do need to process it), at least for as long as it's "punching upwards"

the "not naming names" public shaming thing is something I've talked about before, like when admins quote incoming reports and argue about them publicly. it's a thing i saw a lot of in politics too, a kind of master suppression technique building on oneself having more informal and often also formal power than the other, meant to intimidate others from disagreeing with you. "look what happens if you talk back to me"

but anyway, i hardly ever post about blocking someone when it's for my own mental health, which is like… nearly all of my blocks so far. why would i draw attention to wanting to avoid all contact with someone? that could cause drama and draw their attention, which is what i'm trying to avoid, right?

some people still notice and get upset by being quietly blocked and start subtooting about it, in much the same manner as those who are blocking others as a power play

and here's something that will probably seem alien to a lot of people: it's always such a relief when that subtooting begins!

it's one of my most problematic flaws that i'm so intensely afraid of accidentally making someone feel rejected for no good reason, and that includes them feeling rejected by them blocking me. no i'm not kidding. this is what i was shaped into. it's the core trait that "made me" into a repeat relationship abuse victim, for example. i "make" people with invasive tendencies become uniquely abusive, by not setting the boundaries they need. so this is not about me being "too nice" at all. and i'm likely never going to fully get rid of this dependent personality style no matter what i do. i just have to learn how to deal with it

so i'm happy to have come this far now that when the subtooting begins, it dispels all those toxic feelings of me somehow causing needless harm: this really wasn't someone i should have been in contact with in the first place. to phrase it in the least ableist way i can think of: we're ultimately incompatible

i need to put way more trust in my "kelpian" sixth sense