Conversation

Notices

1. Embed this notice
   CEO of Monoeye Dating (ceo_of_monoeye_dating@lab.nyanide.com)'s status on Saturday, 22-Mar-2025 07:33:11 JST CEO of Monoeye Dating
   I make no secret of it that I was *brutally* abused as a child, both physically and sexually. So, when I was in undergrad, I hung around people like me - people from abusive homes who went to college. One of them said something to me that stuck:
   
   "I cannot empathize with people who had happy childhoods."
   
   This is something I have spent my entire adult life fighting against. I do my best to try to empathize with and open up with people who *did* have happy childhoods. What I've found - consistently, and regardless of stated political affiliation - is that there's the following barrier:
   
   "People who are hurt, will hurt other people. Therefore, I refuse to empathize with people who have been hurt. Such people are threats, and they should be crushed."
   
   This idea is weirdly common among people who had perfectly stable and happy childhoods who never struggled to work for anything. I find it to prevail strongly in politics-heavy fields (Academia, HR) but it is usually viewed with disgust in skill-heavy fields (Engineering, Agriculture).
   
   I haven't quite pinned down *what exactly* the common thread is that creates this barrier. However, I must draw the conclusion that I should avoid large groups of people who have such upbringings. I have made the effort, and I find that there is little hope of mutual empathy with people who were not maltreated as children.
   
   Sharing empathy with people who hate you is emotionally painful, and I am going to stop doing it.
   • ✙ dcc :pedomustdie: :phear_slackware: likes this.
   • Embed this notice
     ✙ dcc :pedomustdie: :phear_slackware: (dcc@annihilation.social)'s status on Saturday, 22-Mar-2025 07:34:00 JST ✙ dcc :pedomustdie: :phear_slackware:

     in reply to
     @ceo_of_monoeye_dating > I refuse to empathize with people who have been hurt.
     Yea its weird shit, reflects the fact that most people are really 80 iq golems tbh
     Johnny Peligro likes this.
   • Embed this notice
     CEO of Monoeye Dating (ceo_of_monoeye_dating@lab.nyanide.com)'s status on Saturday, 22-Mar-2025 07:38:06 JST CEO of Monoeye Dating

     in reply to

     • ✙ dcc :pedomustdie: :phear_slackware:
     @dcc The idea seems to be absent among people below (roughly) 90 IQ, in my experience. I've never seen the idea espoused by someone who lacked a university degree.
     
     They are incapable of learning the idea, and they *usually* have at least one or two adverse experiences that force them to empathize with people who have been hurt.
     ✙ dcc :pedomustdie: :phear_slackware: likes this.
   • Embed this notice
     Johnny Peligro (mischievoustomato@tsundere.love)'s status on Saturday, 22-Mar-2025 07:42:21 JST Johnny Peligro

     in reply to
     @ceo_of_monoeye_dating I haven't had exactly a happy or bad childhood, there's good and bad things, and I do envy people that had completely happy child/teenager lives, but I can definitely empathize with em