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When I was a kid, my parents really dropped the ball when it came to preparing me for the big, scary questions in life. Things like, “what’s the most important thing to be doing in life?” - “how do I know who to trust?” - “what do I do if my parents die?” - and so on and so forth. The hard scary sorts of questions nobody likes to think about. Fortunately, occasions of this sort when I really needed answers like that were very few and far between. But it occurred to me after being on my own in the world a while that, had I known even to consider such things, I’d have had a much better set of bearings, going into my adult life.
Now, I’ve had a lot more kids (with one woman, thank God) than my parents ever did. And I know good and well it isn’t wise to deprive them of a childhood by making them bear the direct weight of such crushing considerations. But it’s been a priority to try to find ways to preemptively ping their awareness toward the *answers* to those kinds of things, so they’ll immediately recognize the path through them, should, God forbid, they ever occur.
Because without such awareness, I cannot imagine how they could ever really make any sound and meaningful decisions about the very important things, at all.
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@zeke You can say that again. And it’s like there‘s certainly myths and movies that explore themes like that, and some are definitely better than others; but without something definite, tying it to you and your own family, it’s just so many straws to grasp at. More often than not, the big hidden message is “that’s what the State is for; they take care of all that” because what the heck else is it going to be? Superheros? and the only authority we need to fear is when we run afoul of the boys in blue.
My parents’ generation is clearly the one weak and broken link that topples a mighty dynasty, as far as all that goes; but blaming them is pretty pointless, as now, aside from wealth, they’re just as powerless as any of us to change it. So it can’t really get any better unless we get at the real cause and uproot it. But by this point, at best any actual uprooting will have to be the shared province of more junior men, as I’m tied well down keeping the roof over our heads; it’s not getting any lighter, nor am I getting any younger.
So, what to do ?
At least keep them in the loop, a bit, sad to say. For, it certainly wasn’t their fault.
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In times past, it was the norm for parents to counsel on those issues and pass their accumulated wisdom on to their children, but ever since the 60's, people get older, but they never become elders, and that was Kosher engineered.
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@KingOfWhiteAmerica I've been thinking about this lately for my own kids. One of the best things we can do is passively prepare them. Things like introducing the concept of Momento Mori by taking them to funerals or bringing them with us when we visit the graves of friends and relatives. Life is important, and the fact that it's temporary adds a wei
ght to that which doesn't require hearing over the head once they understand this.
Other than that, I'm considering writing a short "book" alone with a preface to explain certain things that I want them to read at certain ages in case I'm gone. I might rewatch "Jack" with Robin Williams too, since it addresses that topic.
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