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I shall publicly mock the shadowy televisual executives cynically attempting to exploit the popularity of Mortimer and Whitehouses Gone Fishing to lure unsuspecting audiences to their respective channels by prostituting out couples of old white men to just hang out in a funny way hung on some loose arbitrary premise. Martin Clunes and Neil Morrissey titting about in France. Hugh Dennis and David Baddiel’s Two Men on a Bike. But secretly....... Secretly I absolutely love it. Finally some representation for my demographic. Old straight white men. When is it my turn? Who wants to do a TV show with me? Ideally someone called Bill I suppose, for the hook. Or Phil at a stretch. Phil and Ben the Aldershot Men? I don't want to do a TV show in or about Aldershot. Phil and Bens Adventures on the Seine? That's better. Who wants to do a French boating holid- I mean tv program with me? If your name doesn't fit we can just make you up a new nickname. Like 'oh yeah we call him Bill because he cums after every meal' (I'm so so so sorry it was what my head came up with it is not my fault)

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