Floaty Birb
Launching my #monsterdon thread for Yeti: the Giant of the 20th Century, a movie which I expect includes a big hairy guy.
Monsterdon is the thing where we watch a monster movie every week and make fun of it. Feel free to join us if that sounds fun, or mute the hash tag if a wall of monster movie posts sounds annoying to you.
Floaty Birb
Leaving aside the question of if thawing a giant Yeti is a good idea (it's probably not), the Yeti thawing plan appears to be
1) reduce the size of the ice block with flamethrowers
2) put the Yeti in a giant open box
3) lift the box with the helicopter to the altitude of the Himalayas
4) spray the Yeti with hot water until the Iced Yeti is a Normal Yeti.
Floaty Birb
In the next scene, the Fourth Doctor is walking into the flamethrower command center for a 1970s video conference with the Large Rich Guy, who is dressed more normal. We learn that the hairy guy in the ice block is indeed a Yeti, which in Canada is called the Sasquatch and this is a big discovery.
Another big discovery is that 1970s video conferencing equipment looks awesome. Shout out to clunky retro technology.
Floaty Birb
The plot thickens as the Large Rich Guy has a sneaky lieutenant, who after the video conference goes into a side office and calls a Mysterious Patron. He is apparently plotting to betray him; I'm sure this treachery will not cause any problems.
Floaty Birb
Also shout out for how awesome the music is in this movie so far. I think the last Monsterdon with music this awesome was the Chopping One with the killer robots (or original Gojira, of course).
Floaty Birb
In the next scene, our intrepid Yeti extraction crew is doing more Yeti extraction, now raising the giant iced yeti with a crane; he's more human shaped and less block shaped now. The Fourth Doctor tells the audience that the ice preserved his brain function.
We meet another guy, yellow jacket guy, who I think is the Male Jock Lead character, besides the Fourth Doctor's Male Nerd Lead character. We learn that matching set children are siblings.
Floaty Birb
The helicopter I guess drops a fancy ski lift chair, and departs a large curly haired gentleman on the grass, who disembarks, eats an egg at a picnic table and bothers the guy who was fishing fishing. It turns out the guy fishing is a Science Master, and the large curly haired guy is a rich guy who wants to recruit the Science Master for a trip to canada. The fishing guy says "no" but the audience thinks he will change his mind.
Floaty Birb
In the next scene, we are somewhere that requires coats, probably canada, where a large coated crowd has gathered to watch some employees shoot flame throwers at a block of ice. The Science Master from before is watching and taking notes, as are Two Matching Children in White Coats. Other people are watching too; flamethrowering an Ice Block is a fun collective experience.
We learn that the ice block contains a big hairy guy frozen into the ice, perhaps the titular 'Yeti'.
Floaty Birb
I would like to say that the professor guy is giving Fourth Doctor vibes with that scarf. But he also has a yellow sock hat... so he looks like the Fourth Doctor who is also a fisherman.
Floaty Birb
Yeti starts with a scene of a glacier melting into the sea, followed by some Hecking Awesome Orchestral Music, and a cool pan over the ocean, in which we see a boat.
Fuck yes, that's a good start to a #monsterdon movie; I love me some boats!
We then switch to a pan over a technologically advanced city, partly as seen from a space needle type restaurant and a helicopter, and then the helicopter approaches a guy who is minding his own business and fishing.
Floaty Birb
I'm also unclear why the Yeti rampage scene has both US and Canadian flags. I guess this is before our countries were enemies.
Floaty Birb
Okay, so the puny humans have run away, except for the Matched Set Children (who fainted due to fright) and the dog, who decided to keep barking at the Yeti. This attracts the Yeti, further scaring the children, but he decides that these tiny people are friends and also that he should pick them up.
This causes the other puny humans to run away, and the dog to run away in another direction. The Yeti decides to follow the dog because dogs are cool, carrying the children.
Floaty Birb
Yes, that was a long scene where the Smart Daughter fondles the Yeti's giant nipple and then recoils her hand in aroused horror.
That was a practical effects shot. We spent time on the giant hairy nipple model.
Floaty Birb
After the Yeti lands, we get a conversation. Yellow Jacket Guy has ordered some people to stand ready with rifles, in case the Yeti does an inevitable rampage, and Smart Daughter objects to this because the Yeti is a human being and has feelings and probably doesn't want to be shot at.
This argument is interrupted when a dog barks, waking the Yeti up, and he starts yelling, breaking out of his cage and doing a rampage.
Floaty Birb
After a lot of screaming and running away, one of the guys with guns try to shoot the Yeti, but the Fourth Doctor heroically stops him by grabbing the gun. The bullet pricked the Yeti a little bit but doesn't seem to have done much, and he walks toward the Fourth Doctor who was going to freeze there and make friends with the Yeti until Yellow Jacket Guy (no longer in a Yellow Jacket) pulls him away.
Floaty Birb
I like it how the Yeti hasn't moved very much in this rampage, but the people are running back and forth in seemingly random directions that don't seem to do a great job at putting distance between them and the Yeti.
Floaty Birb
Crew of Helicopter:
Yellow Jacket Guy (Male Jock Lead)
Fourth Doctor (Male Nerd Lead)
Smart Daughter (one of Matching Children, I think)
Helicopter Driver (possessed of beard)
Cargo of Helicopter:
Iced Yeti (possessed of dramatic beard)
Floaty Birb
Okay, so our ill-advised Yeti-thawing plan has succeeded triumphantly, and the Yeti (who looks like a godzilla-sized caveman) comes back to life and starts yelling.
His yelling is so bad it starts knocking the helicopter off course, letting the actors practice Star-Trek style bouncing in the seats. Eventually we close the window on the Yeti's prison phone booth box and the helicopter stops bouncing.
Floaty Birb
After stopping the Yeti from crashing our helicopter (a difficult task, because yetis apparently love screaming and helicopters also love crashing), we decide to drop the Yeti box on the ground next to our giant crowd of people and let the Yeti out. He's still unconscious, so the camera pans all over his hairy body. If this was a different type of movie, then this is where we would see some monster ween.
Floaty Birb
Okay, so after having his nipple fondled, the Yeti puts the Matched Set Children down. The Smart Daughter decides that the Yeti wants to eat them and so she wants to run away, but the Little Brother doesn't want to. Eventually they try diplomacy and offer the Yeti a fish to heal his gunshot wound.
Floaty Birb
Characters in this #monsterdon in order of likeability (so far)
Dog (best boy)
Yeti (did nothing wrong)
Matching Children
Fourth Doctor
Large Eccentric Rich Guy
Yellow Jacket Man
Sneaky Suit Guy (he will betray us)
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