Kit Bashir“WHO DARES AWAKEN ME FROM MY AEONS-LONG SLUMBER?!”
“Yes, very good, excellent delivery, forgive me for not laughing, but you’re the sixth one today. You girls should have workshopped your jokes together before going into stasis”
“Oh. Ah? How long have we got until the big 10k, and how are my investments doing? And do you still have updog in the future?”
“It’s 2288, forget about year ten thousand we’ve got bigger problems. Your investments tanked in the quantum wars. And nice try but the last corpsicle got me with that one”
“Fuck. What now?”
“Asteroid impact is what
now”
“Cool, and you need programmers to calculate how to divert it.”
“Nope, we did that already.”
“And that worked?”
“Noooooot as such, no. Typo in the value of the gravitational constant.”
“Woopsy, so you need a cadre of 21st century digital girls to brainstorm a last minute plan B?”
“Nope, plan B worked just fine, the folks at the Indonesian moon base worked an incantation to kick the Earth a day forward in time, while the asteroid sailed through the empty spot. Well mostly fine; I can’t get used to the month being four days longer now.”
“Aha! You need us to work out how to get the moon back in orbit?”
“No, we’ll live with that. We need you to fix the timezone data files”
Steven Sandoval
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