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   Kim Scheinberg (kims@mas.to)'s status on Thursday, 23-Jan-2025 21:34:59 JST Kim Scheinberg

   I'm in a WhatsApp group with friends of decades. None are Trumpers but I'm the resident leftist. So when the Seig Heil happened, they all expected me to react

   I didn't

   After an hour, someone brought it up and I [lied and] said I didn't see it as a big deal

   And holy shit... the same people who would have told me to calm down suddenly lost their f'n minds

   The Law of Conservation of Emotion: by withholding my emotional reaction, they were forced to have their own

   I need to do that more often

   • Embed this notice
     Kim Scheinberg (kims@mas.to)'s status on Friday, 24-Jan-2025 12:11:38 JST Kim Scheinberg

     in reply to

     • persistentdreamergames

     @PersistentDreamer
     I mean that when I refused to get offended by it, their own outrage bubbled to the surface and they insisted that *of course* it was offensive, and how could anyone not be bothered by it?

     It seems that my upset had been keeping their own upset at bay, as if they used me to regulate their own unpleasant emotions.

     I've long understand this dynamic in enmeshed abusive relationships, but I was unaware it was happening in (what I perceive to be) less toxic friendships.

   • Embed this notice
     persistentdreamergames (persistentdreamer@mastodon.gamedev.place)'s status on Friday, 24-Jan-2025 12:11:39 JST persistentdreamergames

     in reply to

     @kims

     When you say they lost their minds, do to you mean they were all offended by it or do you mean they were all like... excited and happy?