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1. Embed this notice
   alex :disabled_knife: (alex@godforsaken.website)'s status on Saturday, 04-Jan-2025 22:45:41 JST alex :disabled_knife:

   the publication of "Dracula" introduced readers to a uniquely loathsome and vile creature: estate agents

   • Embed this notice
     alex :disabled_knife: (alex@godforsaken.website)'s status on Saturday, 04-Jan-2025 22:45:38 JST alex :disabled_knife:

     in reply to

     enthusiastic rookie estate agent jonathan harker: boy, this is gonna be a really big deal for me. just got to sell this great waterfront property to count dracula. this could really kick start my estate agent career.
     (later)
     boss i really messed this one up about as much as it is possible to do!!!

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     alex :disabled_knife: (alex@godforsaken.website)'s status on Saturday, 04-Jan-2025 22:45:39 JST alex :disabled_knife:

     in reply to

     it's still really funny to me that the main character of "Dracula" is an estate agent

     tadpole slurper repeated this.
   • Embed this notice
     Angela Glansbury 🚽 (floppyplopper@todon.nl)'s status on Saturday, 04-Jan-2025 22:46:37 JST Angela Glansbury 🚽

     in reply to

     @alex
     british gas: good evening, this is the british gas customer help line
     dracula: at last, i'm...
     BG: please key in your customer number or hold to speak to an advisor
     dracula: *sigh*
     BG: all our advisors are busy, did you know you can access British Gas via our website
     igor: do you want a cup of tea maarster
     dracula: go on then

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     alex :disabled_knife: (alex@godforsaken.website)'s status on Saturday, 04-Jan-2025 22:46:38 JST alex :disabled_knife:

     in reply to

     (removal guys): do you want us to pack that big clock with the human skull on it that the skeleton pops out of, count dracula
     (dracula): no just the soil please

     tadpole slurper repeated this.
   • Embed this notice
     alex :disabled_knife: (alex@godforsaken.website)'s status on Saturday, 04-Jan-2025 22:46:39 JST alex :disabled_knife:

     in reply to

     (i'm slowly watching herzogsferatu)

   • Embed this notice
     alex :disabled_knife: (alex@godforsaken.website)'s status on Saturday, 04-Jan-2025 22:46:40 JST alex :disabled_knife:

     in reply to

     very funny to think about dracula moving house

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     silverwizard (silverwizard@convenient.email)'s status on Saturday, 08-Mar-2025 22:10:31 JST silverwizard

     in reply to
     @alex he got his cousin to do it.
     One coffin full of dirt! Ha Ha Ha
     Two! Coffin full of dirt! Ha Ha Ha
   • Embed this notice
     alex :disabled_knife: (alex@godforsaken.website)'s status on Saturday, 08-Mar-2025 22:10:32 JST alex :disabled_knife:

     in reply to

     (dracula checking his house move checklist) coffin full of dirt, coffin full of dirt. dirt coffin... coffin full of dirt. all ten coffins, full to the brim with dirt. now what am i forgetting? oh yes! 😅 me! (climbs into one of the dirt coffins and closes it) (muffled voice) hit it, horses

   • Embed this notice
     alex :disabled_knife: (alex@godforsaken.website)'s status on Saturday, 08-Mar-2025 22:10:33 JST alex :disabled_knife:

     in reply to

     imagine being a normal estate agent and one day you come into work and your boss, also a normal estate agent, is like tee hee hee hee, i am sending you to meet a most special client, hee hee hee, in transylvania, hee hee hee, ohhhh!!!

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     alex :disabled_knife: (alex@godforsaken.website)'s status on Saturday, 08-Mar-2025 22:10:34 JST alex :disabled_knife:

     in reply to

     captain's log: another crewman has died from the plague. just got to keep professional and get all these rats shipped to our destination.