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The Onion's purchase of Alex Jones' beyond-disgusting InfoWars is a ray of sunshine today. And this pitch-perfect piece from the Onion's (fake) parent company's (fake) CEO should make you laugh out loud.

It won't bring back those murdered children, nor end the eternal pain their libeled parents endure.

And it will never make Alex Jones anything but what he is: a vile man with a malignant soul.

https://theonion.com/heres-why-i-decided-to-buy-infowars/