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   ✧✦Catherine✦✧ (whitequark@mastodon.social)'s status on Sunday, 03-Nov-2024 23:05:46 JST ✧✦Catherine✦✧

   in reply to

   looking through browser history and it's mostly this plus a brief detour into buying HRT

   (yes, the seaweed entry is still related to phosphodiesteraze, it's https://springwise.com/sustainability-innovation/science/bacteria-seaweed-laundry-environmentally-friendly/)

   • Embed this notice
     ✧✦Catherine✦✧ (whitequark@mastodon.social)'s status on Sunday, 03-Nov-2024 23:05:46 JST ✧✦Catherine✦✧

     in reply to

     ... you know, maybe i should've built a career on molecular biology and not software/hardware, given that my deeply seated desire in a state with zero inhibition seems to be "figure out what the fuck is this protein for"

   • Embed this notice
     Rich Felker (dalias@hachyderm.io)'s status on Sunday, 03-Nov-2024 23:05:46 JST Rich Felker

     in reply to

     @whitequark I dunno about you but I know a lot of decisions I made about pursuits were limited by "apparently the only way to do this is working for someone I won't like for purposes I can't trust will benefit anyone".

   • Embed this notice
     ✧✦Catherine✦✧ (whitequark@mastodon.social)'s status on Sunday, 03-Nov-2024 23:05:47 JST ✧✦Catherine✦✧

     in reply to

     it's honestly pretty wild to have a glaring memory gap, go digging through logs and history and such, and discover that despite the extreme impairment what i have done is discuss medical papers with a biologist i know in perfectly clear, grammatically correct English, and in a fairly nuanced way

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     ✧✦Catherine✦✧ (whitequark@mastodon.social)'s status on Sunday, 03-Nov-2024 23:05:47 JST ✧✦Catherine✦✧

     in reply to

     i also apparently experienced a *lot* of suicidal ideation at the same time, which i made sure to post only in spoilers and with a clear content warning

     i'm very normal

   • Embed this notice
     ✧✦Catherine✦✧ (whitequark@mastodon.social)'s status on Sunday, 03-Nov-2024 23:05:47 JST ✧✦Catherine✦✧

     in reply to

     frankly i don't have patience to deal with Signal Desktop when sober

   • Embed this notice
     ✧✦Catherine✦✧ (whitequark@mastodon.social)'s status on Sunday, 03-Nov-2024 23:05:48 JST ✧✦Catherine✦✧

     so yesterday i was feeling badly enough that i took somewhere between 4-5 grams of progesterone. oral p4 is metabolized into allopregnanolone, so this basically had the effect of giving me a deep benzo blackout

     today i've retraced all of my steps during the roughly 5-10 hour long blackout interval. in that time i have:
     - backed up and fixed Signal Desktop
     - wrangled crypto to buy some estradiol cypionate
     - discussed in depth the research concerning isoforms of phosphodiesterase 11