This fear of hope is one of my issues. Another is the feeling of moral outrage at being forced to participate in an economic system that relies on exploitation of people and the environment.
I don't know how to live a fulfilling, prosperous life without feeling like there's blood on my hands. It feels like I'm in a zero-sum game; my prosperity is from another's exploitation and suffering. I want to achieve and excel, but that feels like I'm just taking advantage of others.
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