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   Mallory's Musings & Mischief (malcircuit@thingy.social)'s status on Tuesday, 15-Oct-2024 09:27:18 JST Mallory's Musings & Mischief

   in reply to

   This fear of hope is one of my issues. Another is the feeling of moral outrage at being forced to participate in an economic system that relies on exploitation of people and the environment.

   I don't know how to live a fulfilling, prosperous life without feeling like there's blood on my hands. It feels like I'm in a zero-sum game; my prosperity is from another's exploitation and suffering. I want to achieve and excel, but that feels like I'm just taking advantage of others.

   /1

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     Mallory's Musings & Mischief (malcircuit@thingy.social)'s status on Tuesday, 15-Oct-2024 09:27:21 JST Mallory's Musings & Mischief

     I'm afraid to hope for a better future, both generally and personally. All the trends are pointing in the opposite direction, and that hope for things to improve has been crushed before. It feels naïve and dangerous to hope for a future that's better than (or at a minimum roughly the same as) today.

     But I don't want to be hopeless. It's not who I am. It's not who I want to be.

     Bill repeated this.