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Please remain calm, but for the purpose of this post, you are now a lesbian. This ends as soon as the post ends and you can carry on doing non-lesbian stuff as usual. If you were already a lesbian prior to reading this post, you are unaffected.

If you have been changed to lesbian by this post and the effects persist after the end of this post, or if you were a lesbian prior to reading this post and this post caused you to no longer be a lesbian, temporarily or not, please report such issues immediately.

We apologise for all inconvenience.