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   goatsarah (goatsarah@thegoatery.dyndns.org)'s status on Saturday, 01-Jun-2024 03:32:54 JST goatsarah
   Reading r/BestOfRedditUpdates and thanking whatever deities that be relevant for not being cishet because, OMG you guys, a lot of these people are in relationships that are basically wars of attrition.
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     goatsarah (goatsarah@thegoatery.dyndns.org)'s status on Saturday, 01-Jun-2024 04:05:15 JST goatsarah

     in reply to

     • Kincaid
     @kincaid Maybe it’s neurotypical people I need to feel bad for. How do their lives get like that?
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     Kincaid (kincaid@mendeddrum.org)'s status on Saturday, 01-Jun-2024 04:05:16 JST Kincaid

     in reply to

     @goatsarah glad I am in a NerdSpace, as everyone I know seems to be in a decent relationship...

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     SaraMG (saramg@fosstodon.org)'s status on Saturday, 01-Jun-2024 05:53:09 JST SaraMG

     in reply to

     @goatsarah The poly cishets are probably fine. Whats important is finding enough queerness to be happy.

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     Shinydan (shinydan@mendeddrum.org)'s status on Saturday, 01-Jun-2024 05:56:48 JST Shinydan

     in reply to

     • Kincaid

     @goatsarah @kincaid

     I've thought about this one.

     A lot of people play the Game of Life(1) because they think that's what they're meant to do. Then, halfway around the metaphorical board, something makes them self-examine for the first time, and they realise they don't have to play. But because of the sunk cost fallacy, they can't quit. But if they can make their partner give up instead, then they "win".

     1) As in Hasbro, not Conway.

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     Shinydan (shinydan@mendeddrum.org)'s status on Saturday, 01-Jun-2024 07:32:55 JST Shinydan

     in reply to

     • Kincaid

     @goatsarah @kincaid

     And it happens less among people whose sexuality, gender, neurotype, or thing I don't know enough about to name, differ from standard issue.

     Because, I think, realising that we are one or more of those things, early in our lives, mean that we learn to self-examine sooner. It does still happen, of course, and heaven knows there are plenty of arseholes in those categories. But it means we can see the issue, more of the time.

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