republicans: "Elect us so we can fix our broken government!"
Democrats: "Hold up, YOU'RE the ones who broke everything. Do you take us for complete fools?"
republicans: "Oh shit oh fuck HEY LOOK OVER THERE AN IMMIGRANT! AND A GAY! AND, UHHH, AN UPPITY WOMAN!"
The 25% of the Electorate who show up to vote no matter what: "That's a compelling argument. You have my vote!"
The rest of us: "Pack your bags, kids, we're moving to the god damn Moon."