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   clacke (clacke@libranet.de)'s status on Friday, 26-Apr-2024 14:55:15 JST clacke

   A pet peeve of mine is when someone says "be careful" after something happened. It is extremely common in Hong Kong culture, it is basically the rule that someone will say this if someone else has some minor misfortune like stumbling, dropping something etc.

   People say this out of the goodness of their hearts and as a form of comforting word, and I should get over it, but no matter how long I've lived here, it really gets on my nerves.

   To me, it hits as arrogance, nosiness, fake concern and a waste of breath. People don't mean it as any of those things, but I cannot make myself appreciate it, I can only bite my tongue.

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     clacke (clacke@libranet.de)'s status on Friday, 26-Apr-2024 15:06:53 JST clacke

     in reply to

     1. You don't know if the receiver took insufficent care according to their view. Maybe they consciously accepted a tradeoff because they directed their attention on something else.

     2. Maybe a reasonable observer before the fact would have said they were taking the appropriate level of care, but shit just happened.

     3. Maybe they don't consider whatever happened a problem. Maybe they don't want to draw attention to it and just want to move on.

     4. As advice, it's 100% based on hindsight. Where were you when the person made the decision to take whatever level of care they took? Where was your advice as they were taking whatever action they took?

     5. It's unsolicited, extremely unspecific advice and offers zero insight. What other thing should they have taken less care with?

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     clacke (clacke@libranet.de)'s status on Friday, 26-Apr-2024 15:17:12 JST clacke

     in reply to

     Hopefully overanalyzing my reaction to it and ranting here might help me shake it off better next time.

     It's not prompted by anything, I didn't hear anyone say it today, this simmering resentment for it just randomly came to the surface as I was thinking of the rain or something.

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     clacke (clacke@libranet.de)'s status on Friday, 26-Apr-2024 15:17:13 JST clacke

     in reply to
     I'm being unfair, it's 100% cultural clash over a simple friendly social glue filler word, but I can't help that it makes my skin crawl, it's visceral, gets on my nerves. Not just when said to me, when said to anyone.
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     Dave T-W (davoloid@qoto.org)'s status on Friday, 26-Apr-2024 16:19:16 JST Dave T-W

     in reply to

     @clacke I agree, it's social filler, much as "Bless you" when someone sneezes. I guess it's recognition that a mistake or (loud noise) has been made in a public space, and it acknowledges that awkwardness and allows it to defuse. Same as loud yawns or burps (from either end).

     clacke likes this.