Conversation

My new one-act play: "Voluntold"

Them: We need your help on an upcoming matter.
Me: Cool, whatever you need.
Them: Specifically, in what ways will you help?
Me: However you need. Just say the word.
Them: You will need to make a formal request on our behalf.
Me: Ok, for what? To whom? X office?
Them: Surely you meant Y office, not X office.
Me: I literally have no clue. What do you need?
Them: Please submit your request in writing by COB, detailing specifically the help you are providing.