Prior to Dan's death, the last person I was close to who I lost was my grandfather in 2004, and at least I knew that was coming (skin cancer). Before that, my grandmother in 1994. Losing her was really hard. After my grandfather passed I remember being utterly distraught for a week or so, but not much else.
Maybe that extended reprise from grief left me especially vulnerable.
I don't know.
But I still cry most of the time when I think about Dan.
And then two suicides last year.