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   :qwerty: cybersyndicate.info :qwerty: (vantablack@cyberpunk.lol)'s status on Tuesday, 23-Apr-2024 10:10:21 JST :qwerty: cybersyndicate.info :qwerty:

   trying

   and failing

   to read a book

   this is a devastating feeling

   i hate my brain

   i hate having ADHD

   and schizophrenia, on top of that, so i can't even properly medicate for it

   ugh

   • Embed this notice
     :qwerty: cybersyndicate.info :qwerty: (vantablack@cyberpunk.lol)'s status on Tuesday, 23-Apr-2024 10:10:47 JST :qwerty: cybersyndicate.info :qwerty:

     in reply to

     this is no way to live

     unmedicated severe ADHD is pure hell

     BeAware :fediverse: repeated this.
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     :qwerty: cybersyndicate.info :qwerty: (vantablack@cyberpunk.lol)'s status on Tuesday, 23-Apr-2024 10:10:48 JST :qwerty: cybersyndicate.info :qwerty:

     in reply to

     i can't think of anything else to do besides give up on all my dreams

     BeAware :fediverse: repeated this.
   • Embed this notice
     :qwerty: cybersyndicate.info :qwerty: (vantablack@cyberpunk.lol)'s status on Tuesday, 23-Apr-2024 10:10:49 JST :qwerty: cybersyndicate.info :qwerty:

     in reply to

     i wanna be able to actually do things again

     instead of just only being able to focus on whatever my brain randomly decides to hyperfocus on

   • Embed this notice
     :qwerty: cybersyndicate.info :qwerty: (vantablack@cyberpunk.lol)'s status on Tuesday, 23-Apr-2024 10:10:50 JST :qwerty: cybersyndicate.info :qwerty:

     in reply to

     i'm just so sick of suffering in this shitty brain

   • Embed this notice
     :qwerty: cybersyndicate.info :qwerty: (vantablack@cyberpunk.lol)'s status on Tuesday, 23-Apr-2024 10:10:51 JST :qwerty: cybersyndicate.info :qwerty:

     in reply to

     what if i just said fuck it and took adderall anyway

     and accepted my inevitable expiration date, since schizophrenia and stimulants don't mix well

     like... it makes me a functional human being

     is it even worth living if i'm constantly operating at 1/4 my possible effectiveness???

   • Embed this notice
     Mx. Sky Barnes ​:verified420: (sky@cyberpunk.lol)'s status on Tuesday, 23-Apr-2024 10:10:56 JST Mx. Sky Barnes ​:verified420:

     in reply to

     @vantablack I'm so sorry, people don't understand

     unmedicated #adhd is like... every moment takes forever in the moment, but then seems fleeting in retrospect

     it's like constantly being overstimulated and understimulated at the same time

     I'm so sorry