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   clacke (clacke@libranet.de)'s status on Monday, 26-Feb-2024 16:44:09 JST clacke
   > "No one can love you until you love yourself" is like the worst possible way of articulating "if you don't respect and value yourself, it's very easy to become attracted to people who don't treat you right and then justify their mistreatment, so be careful."

   
   tumblr.com/compassionateremind…

   • Embed this notice
     Oddtail (oddtail@meow.social)'s status on Monday, 26-Feb-2024 16:44:18 JST Oddtail

     in reply to

     @clacke

     And it's just so untrue, too.

     There ARE compassionate, good people who will love their close ones until they are ready to love themselves.

     clacke likes this.
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     clacke (clacke@libranet.de)'s status on Monday, 26-Feb-2024 16:44:21 JST clacke

     in reply to
     This one caused a lot of discussion on other networks for sure. The more common expression is "you cannot love others until you love yourself", and of course both expressions, while meaning entirely different things yet sounding similar, are hyperbole and oversimplification and require a lot of interpretation.
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     clacke (clacke@libranet.de)'s status on Monday, 26-Feb-2024 16:44:21 JST clacke

     in reply to

     • Oddtail

     @oddtail They exist, but a person has to be lucky to have those.

     I think it makes sense, but it's a harsh thing to say and has a strong component of victim-blaming.

     It's hyperbole, but I don't think it's entirely untrue, even the harsher interpretation than what "compassionatereminders" is offering.

     I read it as "if you will not fend for yourself, who will", and it's not fair in any way, and I'm not sure how actionable it is as advice, but I think it is trivially true that someone who actively goes out and makes friends will have more friends all else equal, and that requires a certain level of confidence, believing in yourself and vouching for yourself.

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     clacke (clacke@libranet.de)'s status on Monday, 26-Feb-2024 17:53:44 JST clacke

     in reply to
     I imagine that a person with no support network is in a vicious cycle where the lack of a network is part of the obstacles to creating one.
     LinuxWalt (@lnxw48a1) {3EB165E0-5BB1-45D2-9E7D-93B31821F864} likes this.
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     clacke (clacke@libranet.de)'s status on Monday, 26-Feb-2024 17:53:45 JST clacke

     in reply to

     • Oddtail

     Maybe the most actionable and fair advice is that you cannot pull yourself up without help, so get help.

     @oddtail

     LinuxWalt (@lnxw48a1) {3EB165E0-5BB1-45D2-9E7D-93B31821F864} likes this.