HOWTO idiot, in 4 easy steps:

1. save the code in [1] as nonexistent.c
2. gcc -O2 -o nonexistent nonexistent.c
3. run and profile the binary
4. wonder why the profiles don't look at all as claimed

[1] https://lore.kernel.org/all/CAHk-%3DwhYOOdM7jWy5jdrAm8LxcgCMFyk2bt8fYYvZzM4U-zAQA@mail.gmail.com/