:alexjones: Put. That keyboard. Down. Posts are for glow-in-the-darks only. You think I'm fucking with you? I am not fucking with you. I just landed in LA. I'm here from the Mossad. And I'm here on a mission of mercy. Your name's Ray? You call yourself a shitposter, you son of a bitch?
:alex: I don't gotta sit here and listen to this shit.
:alexjonesyelling: You certainly don't, pal, 'cause the good news is...you're banned. The bad news is all of you've got just one week to regain your accounts starting with tonight. Starting with tonight's drama. Oh? Have I got your attention now? Good. 'Cause we're adding a little something to this month's shitposting. As you all know, first prize is a Killdozer. Anyone wanna see second prize? Second prize is a set of loli catgirls autographed by Ted Kaczynski. Third prize is you're banned. Get the picture? You laughing now? You got memes. Netanyahu paid good money, get the proxies to post them; you can't post the memes you're given, you can't post shit. You are shit! Hit the bricks, pal, and beat it 'cause you are going out!
:generay: The memes are weak.
:alexjoneswarface: The memes are weak? Fucking memes are weak. You're weak! I've got over 300 confirmed kills–
:alex: What's your name?
:alexjonesdemons: Anon! That's my name! You know why, mister? You loaded this site on an iPod Touch. I booted an $80,000 Navi. That's my name. And your name is you're wanting. You can't play in the man's game, you can't post them. Go upstairs and tell your mom your troubles. Because only one thing counts in this life: harvest the salt from the people that are literally shaking. You hear me, you fucking faggots? A-B-P. A-Always, B-Be, P-Posting. Always be posting. ALWAYS BE POSTING. B-I-R-B. Bait, Interest, Reply, Butthurt. Bait - Do I have your attention? Interest - Are you interested? I know you are, 'cause it's fuck or walk. You post or you hit the bricks. Reply - Have you replied for Christ? And Butthurt. B-I-R-B. Get out there - you got the newfags coming in. You think they came in to talk to the boomers? A guy don't walk on the lot lest he wants to buy. They're sitting out there waiting to give you their innocence. Are you gonna take it? Are you man enough to take it? What's the problem, pal? You - Alex.
:alex: You're such a hero, you're so rich, how come you're coming down here wasting your time with such a bunch of bums?
:alexjones: You see this Pepe? You see this Pepe?
:alex: Yeah.
:alexjones: That Pepe is rarer than an unsullied waifu. I posted over 9,000 screenshots last year. How much'd you post? You see, pal, that's who I am, and you're a Facebook boomer. Nice guy? I don't give a shit. Supreme gentleman? Fuck you! Go home and play with your figurines. You wanna fap here, post! You think this is abuse? You think this is abuse, you streetshitter? You can't take this, how can you take the abuse you get in a hellthread? You don't like it, kys lol. I can go out there tonight with the MSPaint you've got and get myself IP-banned from 8chan. Tonight! In two hours! Can you? Can you? Go and do likewise. B-I-R-B. Get crunk you sons of bitches, get crunk. You want to know what it takes to hellthread? It takes fifteen minutes of page-loading to hellthread. Go and do likewise, anons. Salt's out there. You pick it up, it's yours. You don't, I got no sympathy for you. You wanna go out on those threads tonight and post, post! It's yours. If not, you're gonna be reposting my screenshots. And you know what you'll be saying? A bunch of losers sittin' around Twitter. "Oh yeah. I used to be a shitposter. It's a tough racket." These are the new memes. These are the Joker memes. And to you they're Pleroma Gold, and you don't get them. Why? Because to give them to you is just throwing them away. They're for shitposters.
It takes a while before they get to the actual tweet, but it is fucking hilarious if you read it. She's flipped out over him saying "I don't hit women, but if I did, I'd hit you." It went up to 11 when she complained and he said she couldn't take a joke.