Conversation

My mother is ABSOLUTELY NUKING the atmosphere in Home Goods and nonchalantly walking away from it like she doesn't know that she just mega-farted.

Not only am I watching the horrified expressions of the unfortunate people who walk into the fallout, then I see them glance at me with a knowing/ blaming assumption written on their face like print.

They think I'M doing it!

Mom looks innocent and acts like a muddled old mugwump, leaving me looking like the Bag of Farts.

This is SO NOT FAIR!