If you follow a #Kosher food/diet (for whatever reason, like health or religious) and you want to eat outside:
Me: Does this have pork/shellfish/shrimp/etc.? Oh, none? That's great!
If you also have #gout, like me:
Me ordering food in a Seventh Day Adventist canteen: Do you have anything not made with soya?
Or, in a non-vegetarian restaurant:
Me: Does this have beef/tilapia/sardines/seeds/beans/innards/etc.? Ok, not that, I have gout. How about this?
If you join a party (company or some event) and someone offers you an alcoholic drink:
Me: I'm sorry but I have gout.
Them: Just one bottle.
Me: Umm… *smiles* I really can't.
Them: Come on. Just one sip. I'll give you ₱2,000 raise.
Me: Thank you for the offer, but I really can't.
Them: Plea…
Me: I'm this close into cursing you to experience what it feels like to have gout flare-ups.
:p