I don't know how to cope with this. I can't stop myself. I've been living in some numbing surreal sadness for the past two days. I just can't believe the Queen is gone. I don't think I can recover. I thought I was starting to develop depression but now I know what that really is. I don't want to do anything and everything aches and hurts. Life is so far from normal. I genuinely had a proper suicidal thought today. I don't even feel the worst has come yet. People might think it's stupid to be so upset about someone I never met but I don't feel like there's anything else. I literally don't know anymore. I don't know how to express my emotions. I've had to make this account just to try. Please, someone talk with me, I really need something right now. I'm scared of what my future will hold. This has genuinely broken me.