FreeBSD rocks, but I totally understand why people can get pissed off at it. To be honest though the documentation was dropping me hints today that I should have paid better attention too, also having the ports tree comes in handy for possible needed to compile something that my be borked in the repos.
Shoutout to @thatonecalculator I was about to give up but he encouraged me to try one more time. Thanks dude.
No more Linux on x86_64 for me.