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It's fedi so I'll put a racist spin on this PSA: You know how black people always have a smoke detector chirping in the background because they don't change the battery?
That is a nigger thing to do, and this is a good reason why; homes and furniture are not built like they used to be. You used to have about 20 minutes from the time a fire started until you needed to be out of the house.
Now, everything is made out of polyethylfaggotane. Grandma's couch took 15 minutes to burn, Ikea shit takes 5 seconds.
Sleep with all of your doors closed and keep your smoke detector batteries fresh.