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I put properly-formatted json containing my key at this location:
https://shitposter.club/.well-known/nostr.json
I then updated my metadata to the network using this tool:
https://github.com/0xtrr/nostr-tool
nostr-tool -p <privkey redacted> -r "wss://nostr.poster.place" -r "wss://nostr.frennet.xyz" update-metadata --nip05 moon@shitposter.club --name Moon --picture "https://shitposter.club/blahblahblah.jpg" --about "Just a happy moon."
it was easy and i didn't have to pay anybody bitcoin.