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1. Embed this notice
   impermanen_ 🕊️ (impermanen_@zirk.us)'s status on Tuesday, 12-Mar-2024 02:20:52 JST impermanen_ 🕊️

   Arturo: Aaargh let me go see the human and receive his love-scratches.

   Manuel: <barricading> Ha, if anyone is getting love-scratches it’s going to be me.

   Me: If you guys like being scratched so much have you considered not rolling in the mud at every opportunity?

   #asstodon

2. Embed this notice
   Michael Lucas :flan_set_fire: (mwl@io.mwl.io)'s status on Tuesday, 21-Nov-2023 06:24:15 JST Michael Lucas :flan_set_fire:

   Me: I'm gonna write!

   Microsoft Word: for your convenience, I will now save all your documents in OneDrive. I know you uninstalled it, but that won't stop me.

   Me: <loads shotgun >

3. Embed this notice
   Charles ☭ H (celesteh@lgbt.io)'s status on Monday, 19-Jun-2023 19:55:55 JST Charles ☭ H

   in reply to

   Well my dad can now get calls from me.

   Me: Hi dad, how are you?

   Dad: I'm waiting to die.

   Me: Um, well, did you have a good lunch today?

   Dad: I can't really taste anything.

   Me: You've lost your sense of taste?

   Dad: Yes.

   Me: Do you want me to send you hot sauce?

   Dad: No.

4. Embed this notice
   Kit Rhett Aultman (roadriverrail@signs.codes)'s status on Tuesday, 09-May-2023 23:22:24 JST Kit Rhett Aultman

   I walk into my lab. My printer's siting in the corner at idle with all of its various indicator lights blinking in some rhythmic pattern that probably made sense to some HP engineer in 2009 but are completely impenetrable to me.

   Me: "I, uh, don't know what you're feeling today, printer, but it looks like you're vibing with whatever it is, so...just keep it up."

5. Embed this notice
   Schroeder (sandearl@mastodon.online)'s status on Tuesday, 21-Feb-2023 08:56:14 JST Schroeder

   Puddy: You can't see me.

   Me: Yes, I can.

   Puddy: Don't brush me.

   #dogsofmastodon