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Exoplanets are planets outside the Sun's Solar System. As astronomers discover more and more of these, they are finding all kinds of weird and unexpected examples, often with unusual and interesting physical properties, necessitating the introduction of new categorisations to describe them. Here, Randall presents a depiction of a hypothetical star system containing many exoplanets of different exotic types. Most of these are entirely imaginary, and some are outright nonsensical. A number of the planet descriptions reference the potential habitability. This attracts a lot of attention, particularly in the media and popular imagination, both because it suggests a higher potential for finding extraterrestrial life of a form we might more easily recognise, and because such planets might potentially be examined as candidates for future space colonization. Unfortunately, for many hopefuls, there are a number of specific conditions required for Earth life to survive, and there are many possible ways for space to be inhospitable to life. As a result, most exoplanets that have been discovered have conditions that make it nearly impossible for humans to survive, and difficult for any life form as we know it to exist. The 19 examples here illustrate (in an exaggerated fashion) some of the many frustrations astronomers face when analyzing planets and getting their hopes up, only to discover the planets they found are, sadly, nothing like Earth.