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FEDS CRACK DOWN ON SPRING MIGRATION DEPT. OF HOMELAND SECURITY OFFICIAL: A BILLION BIRDS SNEAK ACROSS THE BORDER EVERY NIGHT UNDER COVER OF DARKNESS! "LEGIONS OF WINGED MIGRANTS ARE INVADING FROM THE SOUTH TO BREED IN OUR COUNTRY, STEALING INSECTS AND NECTAR FROM AMERICAN BACKYARDS." MAP OF NORTH AMERICA SHOWING AVIAN CARAVAN BORDER PATROL AGENT: WE CAUGHT THIS YELLOW-RUMPED WARBLER TRYING TO SLIP ACROSS THE MEXICAN BORDER. IT'S STRAIGHT TO GUANTANAMO FOR YOU, LITTLE JAILBIRD! A SOLUTION IS PROPOSED. OFFICIAL ON TV: WE NEED A $2.7 TRILLION NET TO ENCLOSE ALL OF AMERICAN AIRSPACE. WOMAN: WHY DON'T THESE BIRDS JUST STAY WHERE THEY CAME FROM? BUILD THE NET!