The thing that really determines how kind you are is not your capacity for empathy. It's your capacity for compassion. Empathy is understanding how another person is feeling. It's a neurological mechanism that some brains have high propensity for and some brains have low propensity for. Compassion is caring about how another person feels, regardless of whether or not you can intrinsically understand their feelings. You can be highly empathetic and still be extremely uncompassionate, because compassion is a choice we make. Highly uncompassionate people can be extremely empathetic. They can perfectly understand how someone feels, but not care. Often because they think that person deserves it. You see this a lot with the Church™ crowd. Highly compassionate people can be extremely unempathetic. That means, they really care about how you feel, but you have to explain what you're feeling. They won't just know. Empathy doesn't make you a good person. Deciding to be compassionate does.
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