Things Queer Culture Teaches That Straight Culture Doesn't: You don't have to get married if you don't want to. You don't have to have kids if you don't want to. It's nobody's job to flirt with you or be flirted with. If you're into someone, do the work and tell them. People will judge you and reject you without knowing you. This isn't your fault. You're not the broken one. Your clothing and hair and other style choices are to make YOU feel good first and foremost. Signaling to your people is the secondary job of hair and clothes. But don't dress for them. Be you, they'll see it. Anyone who judges you badly for your hair and clothes is not your people and can fuck off. Physical affection in public is an act of deliberate courage. Family is a matter of choice. Loyalty is a two-way street. Mental health is important and it's hard. Anxiety and depression are natural reactions to the world. Sensitivity isn't weakness. It just means you pay attention. People who think "sex" only means a penis in a vagina deserve pity. (They don't deserve better sex, just pity.) Everyone who's interesting reinvented themselves after their world fell apart. Just like you did. Community is a safety net from an unfair world. Let it catch you when you need it. Catch others when you can. Don't live your life for anyone else's happiness. Live for your own, and share it.

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