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We have terrible news. Seven years ago, you paid us $15 to protect a pristine parcel of land on the US-Mexico border from racist billionaire Donald Trump’s very stupid wall. Unfortunately, an even richer, more racist billionaire—Elon Musk—snuck up on us from behind and completely fucked your land with gravel, tractors, and space garbage. Just look at it. He fucked it. How did this happen? Elon Musk’s SpaceX was building some space thing nearby, and he figured he could just dump his shit all over your gorgeous plot of land without asking. After we caught him, SpaceX gave us a 12-hour ultimatum to accept a lowball offer for half the land’s value. We said, “Go fuck yourself, Elon Musk. We’ll see you in court.” So today, we’re announcing Day 7 of Cards Against Humanity Saves America: CARDS AGAINST HUMANITY SUES ELON MUSK FOR 15 MILLION DOLLARS. If we win, we’ll split the net proceeds equally among all 150,000 of you, up to $100 each. While this will never be enough to compensate you for the anguish you’ve experienced witnessing Elon Musk defile your once-verdant land—where wild horses galloped freely in the Texas moonlight—we think it’s a pretty good start. Unfortunately, Musk has way more money and lawyers than we do, so you’ll probably get, like, $2 tops. If you want to increase the pressure on Elon, here’s something you can post on Twitter (the platform he wants you to call “X” for his own sexual gratification)